Author: Brando Skyhorse
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 5/5
Verdict: An unforgettable, poignant memoir. Full five stars from me! Read it right away.
Note: I received an Advanced Review Copy (ARC) of this book from Simon and Schuster through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I stumbled upon this book in one of the book blogs listed as one of the most anticipated reads of 2014 and I had marked it on my to-read list a while back. I usually read the synopsis before starting on any book, but for this one, I didn't and I am glad I didn't. After finishing the book, I went back and read the blurb. I don't think it would have made an impact on me as much because this book is so much more than what is contained in those few words that attempt to describe it.
"Dysfunctional" childhood doesn't even begin to explain what it means to be abandoned by your own father at a tender age of three and growing up with a tough grandmother, a delusional mother, and five stepfathers. That is just too bizarre to even comprehend it, but Brando Skyhorse has actually lived this life for real. A Mexican-American by birth, his mother Maria decides to reinvent herself and Brando as a Native American and renames herself as Running Deer Skyhorse. She lies to young Brando about his father's identity and heritage (he was told his father was an incarcerated Native activist named Paul Skyhorse). This marks the beginning of the pattern of Maria trying to find a suitable father figure and brings home one man after another who all just come and go at their own will. A man is brought home without room for any questions, Brando is made to accept him as a father and begins to get attached to him only to find the man leave without a trace. Each so-called-father's abandonment fills Brando's life with a void bigger than life that becomes irreplaceable and Brando is left questioning his own ability to be a father himself.
Maria is drowned is her own world of delusion and is emotionally abusive. She is a mess and takes it out all on Brando in ways cruel than you can even imagine. She runs her own phone-sex business and keeps moving from one man to another without batting an eye. Her justification for her actions - "At least it never gets boring" pretty much sums up her life. Her attitude towards Brando and his Vietnamese girlfriend was brutal and the mother in me wanted to choke her for all the cruelty. There just cannot be any justification to her actions, she was just a really sad person inside. It was distressing at times to read all about the suffering of Brando in the hands of his mother, yet he couldn't leave her because she was all he had. It was really heart wrenching and brought tears.
Maria's mother, June was a tough yet soft woman who took care of Brando through his early years when Maria was busy searching for a suitable surrogate father. When it came to Maria, I felt that she had a soft corner for her daughter, even after witnessing all the pain inflicted by Maria and when each man came by, they both got together to make sure he cannot find his ways around them and he plays by their rules in the house. Brando finally accepts himself as a Mexican and after both Maria and June eventually die, he goes in search of his biological father and begins to make peace with one of his stepfathers and the birth father.
With such a mother and stepfathers, it is amazing to think about how Brando Skyhorse survived and I was even more impressed when I found out he is a brilliant Stanford graduate. That is a true testament to how resilient he is and that was one thing I was most looking forward to reading towards the end of this book. During the closing chapters, Brando writes about how he tries to find closure, but all those childhood incidents and upbringing has left a lasting effect on his relationships. I doubt if he will find complete closure ever. The final few chapters were the strongest in my opinion and has impacted me very much. Being a mother myself, I know the importance of a family and more importantly a functional one. I cannot imagine how one can stay sane and alive being raised in a totally dysfunctional family. Reading about it made me so grateful for my family and ideal childhood, and equally sad at someone not even knowing what a loving family is. Brando has given us honest peek into the darkest secrets of his life and the harrowing experiences and trauma he has endured all through his life. I sincerely wish he finds peace with his inner-self and begins to live a normal life.
This is a fabulous book and held me captive right from page 1. I finished it in 5 hours straight and would recommend it to anyone without a second thought. You cannot miss this!
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 5/5
Verdict: An unforgettable, poignant memoir. Full five stars from me! Read it right away.
I stumbled upon this book in one of the book blogs listed as one of the most anticipated reads of 2014 and I had marked it on my to-read list a while back. I usually read the synopsis before starting on any book, but for this one, I didn't and I am glad I didn't. After finishing the book, I went back and read the blurb. I don't think it would have made an impact on me as much because this book is so much more than what is contained in those few words that attempt to describe it.
"Dysfunctional" childhood doesn't even begin to explain what it means to be abandoned by your own father at a tender age of three and growing up with a tough grandmother, a delusional mother, and five stepfathers. That is just too bizarre to even comprehend it, but Brando Skyhorse has actually lived this life for real. A Mexican-American by birth, his mother Maria decides to reinvent herself and Brando as a Native American and renames herself as Running Deer Skyhorse. She lies to young Brando about his father's identity and heritage (he was told his father was an incarcerated Native activist named Paul Skyhorse). This marks the beginning of the pattern of Maria trying to find a suitable father figure and brings home one man after another who all just come and go at their own will. A man is brought home without room for any questions, Brando is made to accept him as a father and begins to get attached to him only to find the man leave without a trace. Each so-called-father's abandonment fills Brando's life with a void bigger than life that becomes irreplaceable and Brando is left questioning his own ability to be a father himself.
Maria is drowned is her own world of delusion and is emotionally abusive. She is a mess and takes it out all on Brando in ways cruel than you can even imagine. She runs her own phone-sex business and keeps moving from one man to another without batting an eye. Her justification for her actions - "At least it never gets boring" pretty much sums up her life. Her attitude towards Brando and his Vietnamese girlfriend was brutal and the mother in me wanted to choke her for all the cruelty. There just cannot be any justification to her actions, she was just a really sad person inside. It was distressing at times to read all about the suffering of Brando in the hands of his mother, yet he couldn't leave her because she was all he had. It was really heart wrenching and brought tears.
Maria's mother, June was a tough yet soft woman who took care of Brando through his early years when Maria was busy searching for a suitable surrogate father. When it came to Maria, I felt that she had a soft corner for her daughter, even after witnessing all the pain inflicted by Maria and when each man came by, they both got together to make sure he cannot find his ways around them and he plays by their rules in the house. Brando finally accepts himself as a Mexican and after both Maria and June eventually die, he goes in search of his biological father and begins to make peace with one of his stepfathers and the birth father.
With such a mother and stepfathers, it is amazing to think about how Brando Skyhorse survived and I was even more impressed when I found out he is a brilliant Stanford graduate. That is a true testament to how resilient he is and that was one thing I was most looking forward to reading towards the end of this book. During the closing chapters, Brando writes about how he tries to find closure, but all those childhood incidents and upbringing has left a lasting effect on his relationships. I doubt if he will find complete closure ever. The final few chapters were the strongest in my opinion and has impacted me very much. Being a mother myself, I know the importance of a family and more importantly a functional one. I cannot imagine how one can stay sane and alive being raised in a totally dysfunctional family. Reading about it made me so grateful for my family and ideal childhood, and equally sad at someone not even knowing what a loving family is. Brando has given us honest peek into the darkest secrets of his life and the harrowing experiences and trauma he has endured all through his life. I sincerely wish he finds peace with his inner-self and begins to live a normal life.
This is a fabulous book and held me captive right from page 1. I finished it in 5 hours straight and would recommend it to anyone without a second thought. You cannot miss this!
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