The smartest kids in the world and how they got that way

 Author: Amanda Ripley

Genre: Education, Parenting, Teaching

Rating: 5/5

Verdict: Loved this book. A lot of key takeaways for both parents and teachers.

If you've read my previous posts on other books, you already know I am a big fan of the word "grit" and I generally like reading about education, what parents can do to help their kids succeed and how to raise resilient kids. In that hope, I started reading this book after just a google search on "books on how to raise resilient kids" and this was the first one that showed up.

This book covers topics that are very close to my heart - education, parenting, teaching and school systems. Amanda Ripley follows three students from America who travel to the education superpowers of the world - Poland, Finland and Korea as foreign exchange students. This book has so much depth and details and I love the way Amanda writes it full honesty on what is wrong with the US school system and the book is full of actionable items on what the country can do to match up or surpass the other superpowers in education and school systems. Personally for me, It was quite eye opening and reassuring to read about what Amanda considers as a good educational system and what parenting when done right looks like. As a mother, I constantly doubt myself if I am indeed doing the right things to raise resilient, strong and persevering kids and this gave me a sense of calm that I am on the right track, especially the parts about parental involvement and reading. It even made me slightly nostalgic fondly recalling my reading days with my daughter. I read to her very heavily right from when she was 6 months old!

Being through the Indian school system, I know what rigor and high expectations are like and how almost all parents keep that in mind as a baseline. Education was far more important that anything else. Korean system sounded a lot like the Indian system but the rigor is unmatched. Finnish systems had a great mix, I felt. It was quite interesting to read about how Poland brought about a massively successful change in their teacher selection program and how as a country became an education superpower. Although initially after reading the first few chapters, just when I was starting to think that this was yet another lament on the things that are wrong, it started getting interesting both as a parent and from a teacher/administration point of view.

As a parent, these are my key take-aways from the book:

* Rigor and drive is the number one important piece in education. As a parent, you can and should enforce it at home. Cultivating them early on during kids lives will help them become successful.

* Let children fail and learn from it when they are children. Don't overprotect them by shielding them from failures.

* We need to set high expectations for kids and stop assuming about their limitations and that they can't do something.

* Reward results, not efforts and don't make it too easy for them. Don't praise them for just trying and limit the amount of praises you heap.

* Parental involvement in kids's school and activities is important but how/in what ways is the key question. There is a huge difference between a parent-coach and a parent-cheerleader. Be your kids' coach rather than a friend.

* Read to your kids regularly and parents should read for pleasure as well. It turns out that simply reading to your kids has a big impact on their test scores a decade later!

* Don't spend too much on technology for learning both in school and at home - A plain old whiteboard and pen and paper will do the magic. You don't need fancy clickers, projectors, laptops or any fancy gadgets for teaching and learning.

Overall, this was a fascinating read for me and I am very passionate about the subjects of parenting and education. This book resonated really well with me and my parenting style. Even if you as a parent are not interested in learning about the school systems of different countries, the last chapter which talks about specific actionable items for parents to ask any school they are looking into for their kids is illuminating and I am pretty sure I will keep that in mind for my own kids.

Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Author: Amy Chua
Genre: Non-fiction, Parenting
Rating: 2.5/5
Verdict: Too strong to handle and incredibly boring. If you must read, borrow it, don't buy.

I had heard a lot about this book and the wave it was creating among parents. I have a special admiration for people who have been successful in academics and who are Ivy league graduates and the likes. Honestly, that was one of the reasons I wanted to read this book to see how one mother drives her children towards success with the Chinese parenting style, which I have heard is pretty close to the Indian parenting style. I was looking forward to read about the approaches she took, how to cultivate the habits of working hard, perseverance, resilience and take aways like these that I can apply to my own parenting. 

Here are some things Amy Chua, a Chinese mother of two (Sophia and Lulu) would never allow her daughters to do: 
- have a playdate 
- be in a school play 
- complain about not being in a school play 
- not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama 
- play any instrument other than the piano or violin 
- not play the piano or violin 


The list above pretty much also sums up how I grew up. I was allowed to be in a school play only until 8th grade, I did not participate in any sports nor after-school activities which didn't involve learning/reading. 

Up until then, I was hooked to the book and I was looking forward to the methods of Chinese way of learning/academics. But, oh my! When I got to the part where Amy threatens her younger daughter, Lulu for not playing the violin and constantly abuses her, I felt so sorry for Lulu for having to deal with a maniac mother.  The Indian parenting style totally pales in comparison with how Amy does it - I am careful not to generalize the Chinese parenting style because I believe not all Chinese mothers are so hard on their kids. I felt like Amy just used the Chinese parenting model as an excuse for her insane behavior and parenting. I am sorry to state this - But I can't help but wonder if her kids even love her after all that she put them through just for them to be "successful" in life. She constantly says throughout the book that all she does is for her kids' sake but I do not believe that a zilch - Rather, it is the contrary.  It it for her own bloated ego so she can boast about her kids to others and derive a sadistic pleasure out of that!

After the first few chapters, I found the book incredibly boring and it pretty much seems like the book completely revolves around Sophia's piano and Lulu's violin. At some point, I was like - "Ok, I get it. Sophia is great at playing the piano and Lulu at violin. Now what?!". I may be undermining the accomplishments of the girls here, but seriously, it was just about how Amy drives them 4 hours back and forth to practice every weekend, how she would tie them down every single day for practice and all that page after page. And what was the part about Amy's sister about? It stands out like a sore thumb. I was shocked to see Amy's husband being a silent spectator to all the harassment she inflicted on her daughters.

All I can say, after reading the book is I would never even imagine putting my kids through like what Amy did. I am a stickler for routines and a very strict mother, but this book was way too strong. There is a difference between being tough and abuse. Amy totally falls into the latter category. The only good thing about this book was that, it made me introspect my own parenting so far and how not to parent the way Amy did even inadvertently. There I said it. 

Book Review: Cutting teeth

Author: Julia Fierro
Genre: Family, fiction, Chick-lit
Rating: 4/5
Verdict: A perfect portrayal of the complexities, dilemmas and vulnerabilities of early mid-life and the challenges of modern-day parenting. Highly recommended albeit the slightly over-dramatized characters.

Note: I received an Advanced Review Copy (ARC) of this book from NetGalley.com in exchange for an honest review.

From Goodreads:
One of the most anticipated debut novels of 2014, Cutting Teeth takes place one late-summer weekend as a group of thirty-something couples gather at a shabby beach house on Long Island, their young children in tow. They include Nicole, the neurotic hostess terrified by internet rumors that something big and bad is going to happen in New York City that week; stay-at-home dad Rip, grappling with the reality that his careerist wife will likely deny him a second child, forcing him to disrupt the life he loves; Allie, one half of a two-mom family, and an ambitious artist, facing her ambivalence toward family life; Tiffany, comfortable with her amazing body but not so comfortable in the upper-middle class world the other characters were born into; and Leigh, a blue blood secretly facing financial ruin and dependent on Tenzin, the magical Tibetan nanny everyone else covets. These tensions build, burn, and collide over the course of the weekend, culminating in a scene in which the ultimate rule of the group is broken. 

I was looking to alternate my travel reads with something light and easy to read, since the travel-writing books tend to get a bit boring at times and I am glad I received this book at the right time. 
First off, I'd like to mention that, if you are a parent there is more chance you can totally relate to many of the characters/parents and incidents in the story. Julia does a great job of focusing on almost all of the pitfalls of modern-day parenting and the conversations that happen inevitably when parents meet, ranging from nannies, to the best private schools to organic-vs-non-organic food debates. At the outset, it might seem like you are introduced to a lot of characters and makes you think its going to be hard to keep track of what everyone is up to, but Julia makes it a point to juggle their stories around perfectly and the transition between each chapter is seamless.

Cutting teeth is about a group of upper-middle class Brooklyn parents who are joined together as part of their children's playgroup.  Each character is portrayed as a high-drama and a super complex one with each having a unique issue of their own, the children included. Nicole - the super obsessive and paranoia mom who turns to her secret stash of marijuana to prevent her from going insane. Leigh - the former debutante who has a high needs child, Chase and often seeks the help of her Tibetian nanny, Tenzin, who is referred to as the "Tibetian Mary Poppins" to calm Chase down. Rip - The stay-at-home daddy, the only man in the playgroup, often calls himself "mommy" who is desperate to have another child to feel necessary and wanted. Tiffany - the know-it-all mommy who has a 4 year old diva, and is desperate to prove she is not white-trash. The pregnant lesbian mom - Susanna with her twin boys and her partner, Allie.

For the most part, the novel seems to chronicle the frustrations of the parents that have them trapped in a terrible emotional quagmire. The story gives us an honest peek into the lives of these complicated characters and their interactions. As a reader, we get to witness the secrets, the troubles and the desperation that pushes people to act a certain way which we normally don't get to witness in day-to-day life as an outsider. Despite all this, they are still loving parents who want nothing but the best for their kids. Although I could not relate to their lifestyle and the problems these parents face, I could empathize with most of them and often found myself vigorously nodding my head along while reading their conversations. 

Cutting teeth is an absolute no-nonsense book about a bunch of parents who could very well be the parents and people we meet in our day-to-day lives minus the pleasantries and the superficial smiles that entails our discussions. It is brutally honest, it is straight and portrays the ultimate harsh truths about parenting and the challenges associated with it. Julia is a terrific writer and has shaped each character's personality well that it remains their "tagline" or something that comes to your mind first when you think of them after finishing the book. I can't pick any one character as my favorite since you are bound to dislike all of them at various points in time throughout the story.  My only gripe being the fact that almost all the characters were over-dramatized and the ending was rather abrupt and rushed.

Cutting teeth is a perfect juicy beach read, you will find yourself rapidly turning pages anxious to find out where the story leads you. I can absolutely see it becoming the hit of the summer.